If there is a will, there is a way…

Dr. Meral AYDIN

Wherever there is will and time, there is always an option. Hope is the capacity to orient oneself toward options. Frequently, rather than focusing on reality and the future, we focus on losses and the past. Yet, the past is that which will never return; losses are irreversible. Unknowingly, we focus not on what we can do, but on what we cannot, and we do not grant ourselves the permission to move forward. Furthermore, the desire to always progress and to have control over everything remains one of the greatest internal obstacles.

Our orientation toward life is largely determined by our internal dynamics. Psychologically resilient individuals are more internally oriented. When you fail to receive what you expect the world to provide, it may create disappointment; in the resentment of not possessing something you feel entitled to, you may abandon potential options. However, an option is not a situation that arises on its own; it is a phenomenon created through selective action. As the word itself implies, it is a “selection”. It requires personal orientation and will.

Options do not simply collide with or envelop a person. Only you can create and claim an option. Meanwhile, options may not always be pleasant or the "best" possible scenarios. An option is the cognitive capacity to orient oneself toward the best possibilities within existing conditions and, of course, the mobilization of these thoughts into action.

In my view, hopelessness is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Death is like a prescription whose formula is pre-written. Life is born into its own ultimate end, and within this finality, you produce options. Excluding death, every possible situation harbors its own existence and options. As Nietzsche simply stated: “Where there is pain, there is hope.” Only living beings feel pain. The fact that we feel pain; that we experience certain hardships in life, regardless of their magnitüde, demonstrates that we still possess will and time.

Hopelessness is often defined as a way to escape pain and avoid the choice of struggle. Yet, hope is not the result or the solution; hope is the struggle itself. Hopelessness, conversely, is the expression of victimization. Victimhood is often the primary door opened so that individuals may elicit care from "others." It is frequently framed by helplessness; a person unable to tolerate their own helplessness seeks to appear powerful through the victimization of the other. Regardless of your role, you become the "strong person" and the "rescuer" of the situation.

In truth, people ignore the process of passivating someone who could otherwise produce their own options, believing that hope is only possible through the presence of an Other. within a dependent existence, they adopt false definitions suggesting that external factors leave them hopeless and helpless. However, hope is about being attached to something; it is not about being dependent.

Although suicide may appear as a choice to exercise authority over one's life, it is actually a failure to take responsibility for life—an inability to attach to the options life offers, and a movement toward detachment and escape. Individuals with a borderline personality organization, in particular, hold suicide as a constant option. They speak of being unable to endure their emotions or accept what has happened, and they lose the desire to continue. Hopelessness is the preference to cease continuing and to turn toward suicide. It is to become a victim of life.

To me, hopelessness feels like "dragging one's feet" or making things unnecessarily difficult. It is drawing strength from the impossible, becoming locked onto potential problems, obstructing the flow, and freezing time.

Where as Hope is a flow…

The hopeless individual frequently asks "Why?" or "How?". My personal response, primarily, is always: “Why not?” To reflect, to try, to produce possibilities, to test feasibility, to share, to struggle together, to measure boundaries and limits, to stretch, to multiply, to be wounded and heal, and to walk… Just to keep walking…